The Only Good Jedi is a Dead Jedi


Just as I thought grievance-based politics set by self-appointed community gatekeepers could not get worse than the Islamist-inclined Scottish-Islamic Foundation presenting lone bampot, Neil MacGregor as the harbinger of a race-war, along comes this.

Sci-Fi geek meets Joseph Smith Jr., Daniel Morgan Jones founded the International Church of Jediism.  Jones, who prefers to be known by his Jedi name of Morda Hehol (yeah, and Madonna prefers to be known by her Qabbalist name of Esther) has been ejected from a Tesco store in Bangor for not removing his hood.  The reason being, Bluewater-type rules against hoodies and concealing one’s identity.

Jones said, “I told them it was a requirement of my religion but they just sniggered and ordered me to leave”.  I am not really surprised, he must have sounded like a right twit.  Plus, despite attempts during the 2001 census – presumably led by Jones – to have Jediism recognized as an official religion, it is not, so my missive title is not incitement to racial hatred any more than sniggering at Han Solo after he took to drink following Chewbacca’s death would be tasteless. Nor was Jones a victim of a hate-crime when Darth Vader assaulted him.

One semi-serious point raised by Jones was that he witnessed a be-veiled Muslim woman.  If this was full facial covering, I would agree that there is the potential for its misuse as a disguise, but funnily I have difficulty accepting criticisms of the communalising of British populations from such a patently delusion nutter.

A Tesco spokesman made an apposite observation:

“Jedi are very welcome to shop in our stores although we would ask them to remove their hoods.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all went hoodless without going to the Dark Side.

“If Jedi walk around our stores with their hoods on, they’ll miss lots of special offers.”

This is the best way to treat people like Jones: with mockery.  Undiluted, never-ending mockery.  Daniel… whoops… Morda Hedol, if you are reading, and want to follow a mystical Eastern-sounding religion, I would suggest joining a martial arts class, like Jew Jitsu.  As it stands, you come across as bonkers.


4 Responses to “The Only Good Jedi is a Dead Jedi”

  1. Daniel Jones Says:

    I am not bonkers,

    infact im the oposite and you also seem to be use your own time to write about me i must be doing something right.


  2. efrafandays Says:

    Daniel, as Tescos rightly said, Luke and Yoda and Obi didn’t need to wear hoods.

  3. John Henry Phelan Says:

    Danies Jones is not crazy. He’s gotten a bad spin in the press. He looked at some Jediism sites and then started a church without completing the training so he knew little about Jediism and was ill equiped to deal with the press on what Jediism is really about.

    By all means feel free to critisize the religion but at least do it based on the facts and not on hearsay and junk reporting in the media.

    Check out What Jedi Believe at our site and have a go at it. Hint: you actually need to read it first.


    John Henry Phelan
    Temple Of The Jedi Order
    Beaumont, Texas US

    • efrafandays Says:

      Father, what makes you think I haven’t looked into the Jedi ‘faith’? It’s as much a religion as the Famous Five or Secret Seven.

      Jones bases his ‘religion’ on a so-so sci-fi film from the 1970s and 80s which owes its success to novelty rather than intrinsic quality and insight. There are myriad Eastern religions with associated martial arts he could adopt for a belief rooted in thousands of years of human observations.

      No doubt he’s harmless, but he’s also bonkers. Furthermore, as Tescos rightly pointed out, he doesn’t fully appreciate his faith if he thinks Obi-Wan Kenobe or Miss Piggy’s brother Yoda or Luke Skywalker needed hoods.

      If one really must follow a sci-fi film, I’d suggest Tarkovsky’s Soylaris.

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