State Capitalism in North Korea



An-yŏng-ha-se-yo. That’s Korean for “greetings, all”.

Like everybody, I am looking for something. As with other members of the revolutionary socialist community, if offered a choice between the paths sought by Beijing and Pyongyang, he and I would choose Beijing every time: but I also recognize that one cannot afford to be choosy about whom one supports, no matter how arduous their path is.

Through his infinite goodness, our souerane and supreame governor, the Eternal Leader took the Catholicism of his childhood to the next and final level of Juche.  It is common knowledge that, through their cankered malice, the hegemonic forces of Imperialism and nascent neo-liberalism sought to subjugate all of the Estates of Korea in 1945.  Fortunately for our Korean brethren and sistren north of the 38th Parallel, and like the approving of the glorious Scots Confession 450 years ago today, this disaster was adverted by the Soviet forces.

So grateful were the Koreans that they offered their industrial and manufacturing infrastructure to the impoverished Soviets.  In a reversal of events in that seminal book, The Ragged Trousered Philanthropist, the scales fell from the eyes of speech-writers for Imperial Japan and they affirmed their love for the Eternal Leader.

The DPRK never has invaded anyone.  She was merely exercising her right to sovereignty over the ‘Republic of Korea’ in 1996 at Gangneung. But, I am deeply sad troubled to observe that the current custodians of the Eternal Leader’s vision have not resisted all Capitalist domination: these stubborn, disobedient, cruel oppressors, filthy persons, idolaters, and all sorts of unfaithful.

It would now appear that the former personal shopper of the Great Leader, Kim Jong-Il was engaging in Capitalist endeavours in Austria. This impudent blasphemer, who is surnamed Kim, betrayed Juche by engaging with Austrian Capitalists during the 1970s, ‘80s and early ‘90s by offering them more filthy lucre than necessary to acquire merchandize essential for the People’s Republic: such as supplies to avert an impending Holodomor fingerprint recognition units, luxury cars and encrypted telephones.

And, I was most horrified to learn of the extent of collaboration with the Gnomes of Zurich and North Korea following the retirement of prominent Diplomat-Capitalist, Ri Chol.

Whilst one never should look a gift horse in the mouth, and fail to raise some equity by supporting liberation movements or leisure-industry in Australia, I fear that the decadence of Capitalist has crazed the minds of the elite who are investing in the baubles of consumerism before their currency looses more value. A trip to the countryside should disabuse them of this.

Despite all this, I must continue to express my support for the Eternal Leader, to whom only we must cleave, whom only we must serve, whom only we must worship, and in whom only we must put our trust:


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